不快乐的之中的快乐

我一直都相信 “苦中带甜” 的道理。今天总算给我遇到了。可是我的是 “不快乐中带点甜”。原来，好人是那么难当的。那天，发出内心要帮满好友却得到 “FFK" 的下场， 要求他人帮忙也没了。破坏我的计划。。。。

心情糟糕的我带着不愉快的心情去上班。同时，我的“阿头” 带了一瓶大城市最出名的糖果。看到了它，什么气都消了。多姿多彩又多口味的糖果真的让人舍不得把它吃了。

原来简单的糖果跟他人一起分享也是一种小小的快乐。可惜，我有一位臭嘴的同事不懂得珍惜。原谅他吧！

今天我体会到生活有可能有很多不完美的地方，千万别气馁。应为过程当中会有一线光照着我们，带出许多欢喜更快乐。。加油吧！！

Arghh

My life as a student finally ended. It is the time for me to move into new stage of my life. Although this New Year I didn't have time to enjoy much because of assignment's datelines, I felt quite contented because I have fully completed the course. Hopefully I can pull through my final semester.

I feel so pathetic and started to doubt the definition of "f.r.i.e.n.d.s" in my dictionary when my sister's incident took place. She has less friends but those few close friends are so close until they shared the joy and laughter during that precious week holiday. Those are things I could see when they took turns to each others houses sharing all kinds of activities, 38 news, cards, movies and etc.

Then I compared with what I got this year. I dated my friends to go out and the outcomes of course I do not wish to explain. I always knew family is important but numerous occasion took place. Is it something wrong with my interest, topic and bla bla bla which made them feel rejected or boring or I really didn't even worth a penny to share about. OMG....Yes, I'm here to ask 1001 question and to relieve dissatisfaction. Coz I know she wont read about this. Really got fed up and boring when I heard friends asking me to go out 'padahal' I'm not in locally but when I was home, "kentut" pun tak rak....

It seems like my close friends are not even close to me at all. With their numerous excuses and "lap" me aside really made me annoyed. Pretty annoyed caused this incident did not happen for first time and willno be last time as well.

Book of Attraction

One day, when I am on my way back from college, I heard a DJ in radio talking about "Law of Attraction". I really wonder what is that until a girl tell her experience that it is a attitude of controlling one's mind and thinking. Amazed, i do nothing but the title itself was well remembered.

My curiosity tell me that I should get a chance to do some research on it. I want the book!! One day I found the book by accident. Law of attraction really works on me.Is this called Law of Attraction that attracts what I wanted. Usually, I fail to find any books that I really want all the time. The book appear itself in front of me just in few days. Does that mean that if we have the will to want something, it will appear?

Tortoise

When we grew order, like it or not, problems will increase as well. That time, we need to learn "give and take" as part of our life. I always thought that life is either black or white. In reality, most of our life are coloured in grey. No matter you like it or not, the learning process of receiving newborns as well as whom you beloved was leaving you. Can't believe it my beloved pet; tortoise who doesn't speak, act or even play can tuned my emo level drastically.

I had always love to have tortoise as one type of my pet. Of course, I'm not 100% pet lover. Somehow, tortoise placed second after dogs. As wished, my parents granted my wish on 2011 when they allow me to keep two tortoises. I named it Jackpot and McFee. Both tortoise are really naughty brat who keep bullying each other. Like Ninja turtle, they got stunts like spider and etc. Most of the time, they managed to keep customers in my parents shop entertained and they love to see a lot people.. Weird kudos.

Yesterday evening, as usual, I fed them with their food. But I can't see Jackpot moving. That hyperactive brat is motionless even though I keep on tickling  his body. His feet and neck are well stretched. I thought he was dead. After discussing with mum, I decided to bury him. This brat is playing prank and swim nicely in his pool.

This morning, I send all my tortoises Jackpot, Mcfee and Unnamed tortoise for release in temple. I thought I was pretty okay but somehow when the moment I release it into the pond, the feeling of sobbing, heartache came. I MISS all of them. All of them are cute enough and painted a tiny bit in my heart. I felt so sorry to let them go...Just in a minute time, I saw a tortoise laying eggs in that pond. I saw new living beings (tortoise) about to come here. Touched...

A journey to remember for my lovely dogs

I'm so blessed that I have pets at home. On 6 August 2008, these two lovely puppies born in my uncle's house. My sister named it Xiao Bai (White) and Xiao Hei (Black) which is not exactly their own colour. My Xiao Bai is milky white with light brown patches on his body meanwhile my Xiao Hei is totally brown in colour. No doubt this two sibling dogs are unique in its own way. I still remember when both puppies are three months old, Xiao Bai fell sick until nearly lost his life due to continuous vomiting and diarrhea around one week. Thinking that he was not going to life longer, I took him home so that he can he can pass away peacefully beside Xiao Hei. To my surprise, both pups touched my heart deeply when both of them see each other, the strong feeling of brotherhood. They were happily hanging around and eventually Xiao Bai sickness cured amazingly. 

Everything went fine these few years. Both puppies grew up to be big dogs and brings laughter and joy to my family. They are as naughty as other dogs; urinating around, mess up with newspapers by biting it into smaller pieces all over the house, pull longer clothes and bed sheet for himself to sleep on, hiding one side of shoes or slippers in hard to find places and etc...Sounds pretty annoyed but sweet enough. 

Xiao Bai favourite spot to rest during mid-day

Early this year after Chinese New Year Eve, Xiao Bai fell sick again after tremendous fire crakers show for days. When my sister left to KL to help my parents, my brother called one day to inform us that Xiao Bai nearly pass away. In less than one week, a meaty and fleshy dog changed to skinny dog because he was unable to eat and drink. My sister cried when she knew that and rush back urgently from KL back home just to wish to see him for the last time. Guess what?? She got really emotional as both dogs are part of her organs. She even dare to swore to switch her lives with her dogs. Maybe her sincerity touched God and once again, Xiao Bai cured amazingly.

 New family members: Lobok Zai

Two months ago, my brother brought back a greyish (rats colour) dog back home and named him Lobok Zai (a.k.a Carrot Baby). This name suits this lovely pup so much as he was hyper active, restless all the time and eat non-stop. I'm getting eager to see him when I got to know this new family member coming. At last, I got the opportunity to see him during some occasions which I cannot remember. True enough, he looks like rats but dog version rats and 'ang moh' eyes. OMG...adorable enough....The moment I reach the front gate of my house, he did not bark me eventhough this is first time he saw me. I still remember very well his "souvenir"...spraying his urine upwards on my hand. Lolz....

Lobok Zai cuddling around

Sadly to say, good times pass so fast. Two weeks ago, both Xiao Bai and Lobok Zai passed away. On October 6, 2012, a white colour Hilux ran over Lobok Zai and he pass away on the spot. This cute little pup just came to this world in less than half year and now he left us. He left our heart imprinted with his joy. Xiao Hei seemed to reluctant to accept the fact that Lobak Zai die, keep on barking at his carcass until Lobak Zai is buried. 

My mum gave me a call that Xiao Bai was so sick. Both my mum and brother unable to feed medicine to him as we knew Xiao Bai was quite aggressive when taking tablets. This time, Xiao Bai didn't managed to pull through and pass away two days later after Lobak Zai. 

Xiao Bai is really a good dog. Knowingly that he will pass away sooner, he ran out of the house to make sure that he did not die at home. We only manage to find his carcass two days later. If my sister knew this, she will rather skip the whole coming exam to see Xiao Bai. So, we decided to hide the death of Xiao Bai and Lobok Zai from her although we knew we should not hide it in first place. 

I wondered why the lives of both dogs were so short until both of us unable to see them for last time. They are my family, my best friend, mates forever as they are the one who will keep you accompanied all the time. May Xiao Bai and Lobak Zai rest in peace. May God bless them.

My PR Class

Recall on incident:

My first entrepreneur dateline was last week. Last Saturday, I supposed to go to double slot classes from 10-5pm. To my horror, I myself cannot believe that actually I have stay awake for whole night completing the assignment. Fuhhhh...Sounds mad to me cause I never stay overnight. On Saturday morning itself, I can sense that my body battery is depleting. Added with laziness and raining day, I decided to take a session before joining second half of PR class. Things went so wrong and the delay from an hour to another hour pass by like nothing. It all ends well for assignments and I have to use my PR class to pay for it. Nonetheless, I feel guilty enough for skipping so many classes with all sorts of excuses. Sigh.....

Yesterday:

I have to reach college early today because my sister is the one who have double slots. Having two entrepreneurs idea with me (with the hope my lecturer will approve/agree with my idea), I have spent whole morning searching for information. The sweetest part is, my IDEA was accepted and I can proceed to prepare my business plan. So happy.. On the same day, my classmate informed me that PR class for the coming week is cancel...URGHH..I asked, "Again"? For nothing, I have to miss another lecture.

Today:
Look, things is always very funny. The moment I disliked the class is cancelled, my lecturer called me. Undoubtly, funny questions started arising and spinning in my head (I'm not promoting education institution here). The lecturers here are all friendly enough. They contacted each and every students directly (not via college/University). I'm deeply touched as they realise who is their student and make some effort to pay attention to those who missed the classes. Touched!!

Moral lesson: Although the class is quite big and students are as small as ants, a good lecturer will still be able to notice and identify his/her students.

Friend of mine

Finally, I have some time left for me to write blogs. I started to love to write blogs as it give you time to reflect your thoughts on all the things that have happen or have passed through over some time.  I used to have a girl friend that used to quite close to me. As time passed by, we have less time to communicate, to talk to each other, and all sorts of things. 

At the beginning, she used to contact me for high tea or something but things changes as we are nor from the same category. What is the " category" I mean? She moved to working class meanwhile I still stay as a student. Things gradually changed and my focus on her becoming lesser and lesser because of she got her partner, good networking and all sorts of social life which I think is enough for her. What I angered most is she started to give empty promises, "FFK" but she never admits. That's fine for me as well. As long as we do not contact that often, that supposedly to be fine. 

I admitted that our perceptions to things have changed. Since she was exposed to real working life, she knows the value of money, reputation, hard work, back-stabbing and many. Reality is really cruel actually. Because of the people surrounding her affecting her all this while, I started to feel the " grey" side of her thoughts. All her thoughts are either "black" or "grey". Looking the world at the pessimistic side. 

I started to feel guilty as I might be one of those bunch of jackass. Cause, I rejected her invitation numerous time. Why I rejected? Because every time when I saw her, I can feel that she is wearing her "mask". Our topic becoming less day by day. Is it my fault when she turned like this? I can see everything is so black for her but how can I help her??Although she has all material possession from small branded items to big items that what normal people could not afford, she looks even pitier every time I see her as "Money can't buy Happiness".  

She seems to turn to the deaf ear when she heard the word "friend" as unbelievable creature. I would love to tell her that all the things that she is enduring or facing now need not to be face by her alone. People surrounding her are willing to help. But to no avail. Nobody is born living alone.